Why did I create Soul Alchemi? The answer is really short, because I believe in us. I believe we are deserving of an existence filled with joy, love, wealth, healing, and everything else. We are deserving to live the best possible life we can while we are here. I believe in you, me, my children, people who don’t look like me, and do things differently than me. But when we are wounded and live from a trauma and victim place, it’s hard to experience the life inside of you and the life outside of you as joy and love. We need assistance to help us come to that place. I know because I have been there, lived it, and have had to do my own work to get here where I’m at and still continue to do my work daily.

We are a collective in deep suffering and we are on the brink of a great awakening. So, I created this practice because of four very important experiences in my life that has helped me to shift my awareness, my perspectives, my healing, and the way I live. I began to realize years ago that what was blocking my own healing and my deserve level was me. I was in the way. It wasn’t the fact that I had lots of “stories,” we all do, but it was my deep identification with those stories, the narratives I held (perspectives) that created my suffering. As a result, I wanted to create a place where hungry souls could come to receive soul nourishment to realign their heart values with their souls’ values. By healing the outdated perspectives that block our way forward and remembering our true essence, a bridge is created towards experiencing our highest self. We heal by releasing the stories we are not and aligning our heart and soul into deeper coherence. We reconnect with our original technology, our bodies, our ability to feel, and our intuition.

Below are those four stories that have helped to shift me into the woman I continue to become daily.

My Mother

The first story is about my mother who died in 2015 after a long battle of diabetes, (she was a young 63-year-old). Watching her struggle with her own stories of sadness, grief, and unworthiness, I began to think how those stories created the illness we call “diabetes.” According to Louise Hays, the energetic reason behind diabetes is “Not experiencing the sweetness of life.” This indeed was my mother’s story. My mother’s journey in life was not an easy one, it was filled with many challenges, betrayals, and heartbreaks that eventually led to her health condition. Watching her struggle in life had a very deep impact on me, some of which I am still unpacking, particularly stories of unworthiness.

My Husband

The second story is about the sudden death of my husband of twenty years in 2017. His death left a major hole in my life, that was the initial story I was telling myself. The unexpected loss left me breathless and brought up deep intense fear, anxiety, and panic attacks about how to move forward in life. I developed PTSD and with two teenage daughters at the time, all my old stories of inadequacies coupled with grief almost crippled me into staying in darkness. This journey, a dark night of the soul journey, showed me the way in rather than out. By choosing to go into the grief, what was revealed to me was all the old stories about myself I had believed that was actually creating my anxiety. Stories of “I am not good enough to do this alone,” “Who will love me now?” “I’m not capable of financially taking care of myself, a house, and two teenagers.” There were so many stories I told myself and at the time they all seemed true. As I anchored into the work of soul alchemi, I realized that all they were, were stories. None of it was actually true. But the fear I felt made it seem true. I was lost in the future of the “How?” My healing out of PTSD, and anxiety was to come face to face with these stories and see them for what they actually were, stories. I had created an identification with them for so long. Old stories, family stories, beliefs. By reconstructing what I truly believed, I came back to life and back to myself.

My Children

The third story is about my children. Our children truly are teachers for us in the most magnificent ways, they continue to teach me over and over again. First, my eldest Jay has taught me deep compassion for those suffering with anxiety, and depression. When they were in high school and began experiencing deep depression and anxiety, I was lost as to how to help. Before then, I had no personal experience of anyone with depression, it was brand new to me. Their experience opened me up to looking at my own prejudices and limiting mind-set regarding mental health. At first, I made it about me, “Where did I go wrong, what didn’t I do?” I felt like a failure as a parent. It forced me to look at my own stories which helped me to help them in the process and open myself fully to their journey.

The other story is related to my youngest, Janaya. When she was born, we found out she had the genetic disorder, Sickle Cell Anemia, a very dangerous red blood cell disease in which there is no cure. Of course, I went into a pity party, and a fear mindset that I was being punished for something. So many stories came alive in me. All stories of my own fears, traumas that bled into this new experience of being a mother a second time around. My children have been great teachers for me helping me to see my own stories that can sometimes bleed into their lives. By healing my own stories, I am able to create a space to hold them and their own stories without injecting my own stories to them. When I heal any aspect of me, it also, heals the ancestral line forward and back.

Me

Finally, there’s my own childhood story of sexual abuse and trauma which has led me through years of suffering until I came to understand that the trauma associated with that childhood wounding was creating unnecessary suffering in my life. I felt so ashamed, dirty, and unworthy because of the sexual abuse. I had deep mistrust issues, lack of self-confidence, unhealthy boundaries with men, inability to speak up and use my voice, poor relationship with money, and I became codependent on others for my happiness. It took a series of events and my own awakening process to shift me out of trauma and into the practice effortless living with joy.

Each perspective I held about my worthiness, my goodness, my joys, my innocence was tainted by the stories I chose to believe. None of them were true. They were all untrue. Doing this deep personal work of self-inquiry, giving myself permission to feel and heal into the nature of who I am helped me considerably to shed these untruths and release the knots that had been binding me for years. Doing my own soul alchemi work and choosing to dive in rather than out of my experiences, created the catalyst for great change in my life.

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My pathway to joy I’ve come to realize is very simple. I experience the greatest joy when I’m doing the simplest things that makes me feel free. Freedom has always been the feeling I’ve wanted to experience ever since I was a child running barefoot in home country of Guyana. I don’t like feeling like I’m being restricted, confined, or put in a box. So much of the things that brings me joy involves things that identify with that. On most days, I love to sit outside and listen to the birds and feel the sun. Other times, its dancing, teaching yoga, and seeing the joy and healing on my clients faces. Traveling to different countries to explore and discover new ways and culture light up my soul. Watching the Bridgeton’s on Netflix - guilty pleasure for sure, that brings me joy. I admit I just binged watched Queen Charlotte. I’m human after all. I also love the banter and roasting between my daughter and I on a daily basis. It’s our way, well, definitely hers in how she shows love, and it makes my heart glow. And finally, I love just being, doing absolutely nothing. It gives me the stillness I need to just listen to spirit and feel those goosebumps on my skin as I connect with Source. There are many more things that brings me joy of course but these are the main ones.